There’s a particular kind of gnawing tiredness that sleep alone will not fix.
It is a feeling I know only too well.
It’s more than a physical and mental exhaustion – it is something that runs deep below our bodily sinew and veins: it is a complete disconnection from the natural and magickal world around us.
Lately, you may have had a sense that life around you has become too loud, too fast and too overloaded with things that don’t matter in the way you were told they would. And you’d be exactly right – our ancient brains require daily doses of darkness, birdsong (honestly, the science says so) and regular sunshine. The laptops we use to work late into the evening emit over 33,000 per cent more light intensity than the full moon, so it’s no wonder our circadian rhythms are all out of whack!
In my book, The Wheel: A Witch’s Path to Healing Through Nature, I wrote about the intense burnout I experienced working in a toxic office environment, bundled up in a grey skyscrapered city that blocked out all seasons:
“In late autumn 2018, I realised that some things in my life just weren’t working. I was always tired, my hair peeled away from my scalp in spidery tendrils that clogged up the shower drain, and my joints ached a lot more than I thought they would at twenty-eight years old. Maybe I’d missed the memo and everyone worked very hard to keep their limbs, hair and nails clamped to their body as they approached thirty. But it wasn’t just the physical falling apart that bothered me.”
Through this extended period of complete exhaustion and manic thought patterns, I felt the insistent pull of a more magickal life calling to me every single day.
The life I craved was softer, greener and more infinitely real than any 24/7 supermarket or daily traffic jam could ever be to me. So I set out on a journey to create this life for myself.
If you’ve been feeling this craving lately, you’re absolutely not alone. I get so many messages from readers who feel exactly the same way; caught between the demands of modern life and a deep, primal longing for something slower and more meaningful.
Here are 10 signs you might be craving a more magickal way of living.
1. You feel overwhelmed by noise
Not just the tinny, mechanical sounds of the modern world, but information overload and the need for constant, churning productivity.
When a car goes past with its windows down and speakers cranked up, it sets your teeth on edge. You feel the need to skip lunch away from your desk most days just to get ahead of all the mounting tasks.
You have a deep longing for quiet in a way that feels almost urgent.
2. You miss something you don’t have a name for
I remember in my Tumblr days (the halcyon time of 2009-2012), there was the circulation of the word hiraeth – a Welsh word meaning “homesickness” or a yearning for something you have never known.
Many of us have not experienced stillness or groundedness within the perpetual forward movement of modern life, and we crave it fiercely. When you’re trying to get to sleep at night, you might feel an ache in your chest that is looking for something deeply mossed over in the Earth.
3. Your days feel rushed, even when you try to slow down
You tell yourself to rest, and take five deep breaths before leaving the house – but you even feel the need to rush through those amidst the morning hecticness! Or you schedule in time to oil and massage your skin in the evening, but – in the end – decide to skip it because it feels so far down your list of priorities.
What’s left is a near-constant feeling of anxiety and pressure that has the strength of a mudslide. I remember this feeling and grimace.
4. You feel disconnected from nature
As a hiker and birdwatcher, this was the biggest one that alerted me to how much modern life was taking its toll.
When was the last time you touched the copse of horse chestnut trees in your local park? Did the changeover into spring feel as if it happened out of the blue? You often find yourself living amongst the seasons, but not actually being fully present within them, forgetting the feel of a lichened gatepost beneath your fingers.
5. Your spiritual practice has faded
You get to the turning points on the Wheel of the Year – Beltane, Lughnasadh, Samhain – and have nothing prepared. So you scrabble around last minute to light a candle and create an altar, but don’t feel fully present within your practice. Your magickal practice hasn’t disappeared entirely, but it has become something you used to do.
6. You crave simple rituals
Do you miss sitting quietly with a cup of coffee and not having to gulp it down to move on to the next task? Remember when you would light a candle and look into its flame just for the joy of watching its colours shift across the dark? When did you last take a walk to visit your favourite tree and ask it to bless your day?
These small acts are intentional moments of connection, and (maybe) when you read this list, you feel a tug on your heart.
7. The physical symptoms feel extreme
Brain fog. Fatigue. Insomnia. Aching joints. Anaemia. Tearfulness. Weight loss or weight gain.
Your list of physical symptoms feels like an arm-length scroll, and you’re not sure why these things are happening to you; they seem so disconnected and all your test results are saying, “Normal.”
When I was at my highest level of disconnect, my hands would shake on the tram on the way to work and I had that horrid “tired but wired” feeling constantly. I would often find myself awake between the hours of 3-5 am every morning, making me too exhausted to sincerely question what was happening with me.
8. You can’t stop the doomscroll
Despite desperately wanting to, and understanding the benefits of more mindful tech use. But you feel like you’re trying to find something deeper inside your phone that you can’t put your well-flexed thumb on.
“Maybe the next video will show me something I need to see.”
Read my post on the energetic effects of doomscrolling, and How to keep your aura safe.
9. You engage in “what the hell” behaviour
In the depths of my own burnout, I took strangely out-of-character risks in my personal life. When I look back on that period, I realise that my emotions were severely heightened from a build-up of stress, but I was also extremely emotionally numb to the things that really mattered in my life.
I did things with a “what the hell – it doesn’t matter anyway” attitude, taking risks to actually feel something.
10. You keep thinking, “This can’t be it, surely”
And deep down, you know you’re right, but there always feels like a barrier to making positive changes in your life.
If you recognised yourself in any of these 10 points above, I want you to know:
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You’re not failing at life (as I often thought I was when I was deep in burnout from 2017-2019).
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You’re responding to a modern world that was never designed for people like us, who are sensitive, intuitive and influenced by nature.
But that quiet pull you feel isn’t something to ignore.
Next week on The Green Witch paid membership, I’ll be sharing a 7-day magickal reset, guiding you through a whole week of small witchcraft acts to help you feel like you again. We’ll begin by rebuilding your morning routine, reconnecting with nature, and creating space for small, steady moments of magick to return.
If you’re ready to move from recognising these feelings to actually changing them, you can upgrade your membership here.
On The Green Witch, I share Wheel of the Year guidance, witchcraft rituals and reflections from my own life in nature every week, helping people to reconnect with the Earth. I look forward to seeing you there!
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Thank you so much for reading, everyone.
Have a beautiful week and I’ll see you again next Saturday. Not long left until the beauty of Beltane now!
Bright blessings,
Jennifer x
Originally published on Substack
